The Affairs of Naruto Uzumaki
by AquaSkye16
Summary: R&R. The tales of Naruto and his harem, in which Naruto uses his suave, skillful moves to capture the hearts of many females...maybe.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Commentary: All right, I don't plan to interrupt very much during the course of this story

**Author's Commentary**: All right, I don't plan to interrupt very much during the course of this story. Also, very little Japanese will be used…I think that it's just too troublesome. The reason Hinata uses suffixes is because she doesn't sound like Hinata without them. This is my incredibly random story that I am allowed to write. I haven't decided what the main pairing should be as of yet. If you like this story, please review and tell me who you think Naruto should be paired with (and why, if you have the time.) This would be helpful—otherwise, I'll just do whatever I feel like. Enjoy the story!

_**The Affairs of Naruto Uzumaki**_

_Chapter One_

It happened to occur on one of the cooler days in Konoha; dark clouds swirled in the sky and the sun beat weakly against the colorful rooftops of the houses and buildings. During Konoha's summers, it was still rarely cold, and it rained even more rarely still. However, the summer was quickly transitioning into fall and the leaves on the trees were already beginning to turn into a medley of colors: red, yellow, orange and brown. People were already up and about, bundling into raincoats and lugging their cumbersome umbrellas from the depths of their closets. In fact, _all_ of the people were up and about, except for one person, who happened to be deep asleep under his covers.

_BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP—BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP—BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEEEEEP—_

Naruto Uzumaki tossed and turned under the covers, still deeply embedded in his profound dream concerning a scantily clad female and a pair of enemy ninja.

_BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP—BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP—BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEEEEP—_

His hand suddenly shot out from the comfort of the blankets, and he fumbled around on his nightstand blindly. After a few minutes of searching, he finally found his alarm clock and he slammed his hand down on the top. When it began to beep again after five minutes, he picked it up and, in a half asleep state, threw it against the wall. Afterwards he continued his peaceful sleeping.

When he awoke again it was already noon. He groggily sat up and surveyed his surroundings. There was a large dent in the wall, and beneath it was a badly broken alarm clock. Naruto sighed; he had been rather fond of that particular alarm clock. He got out of bed, dropped the alarm clock in the trash, and began to boil the water for his cup ramen.

While the water boiled, Naruto grabbed the mailbox key from his kitchen table and went outside. Walking down the stairs, he went over to his mailbox and inserted the key. Rubbing his eyes, he turned it. There was an envelope inside.

Naruto yawned and picked it up. On the outside was "To Naruto Uzumaki." He hesitated, and then opened it up. Inside was a piece of paper folded too many times to count. Unfolding it, he began to read. The text was heavily erased, and in the end there were only a few sentences.

_Dear Naruto Uzumaki,_

_I am an admirer of yours. I think that you are a very good person. I can't tell you my feelings right now, but I really like you._

_Anonymous_

After he finished reading, the letter floated down gently to rest at Naruto's feet. On his face was an expression of extreme confusion.

_What the hell…?_

It just so happened that after he finished reading, it began to drizzle.

* * *

"Hey, Sakura."

"What is it, Ino?" Sakura settled the book she was reading on her lap. She reached over Ino and picked a cookie from the box on the table. The rain made a soft pitter-patter sound outside.

"What do you want your love to be like?" Ino grinned at her. She indicated the magazine she was reading. The page that she was turned to was some article about a love affair between two famous people.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Sakura bit into the cookie, savoring its sweet taste.

"I mean, I'd want to have a flaming hot, passionate love with a handsome stranger…he'd be really hot, and we'd walk on the beach in the moonlight together." Ino sighed and closed her eyes, imagining it. "Our love would overcome all obstacles! We'd run away and elope together…wouldn't that be _so_ romantic?"

"I guess." Sakura licked her fingers. "But isn't that sort of unrealistic? I mean, 'hot' love usually goes and dies down after a while and you guys would eventually separate?"

"Don't ruin my dreams."

"I didn't mean to," Sakura protested. "I'm just stating the facts. By the way, where _would_ you find a guy like that, anyway?"

"Hmph." Ino sat back and sighed. "You have no imagination. Anyway, you haven't answered my question yet. What do you want your love to be like?"

Sakura thought about it for a moment, flicking the pages of the book on her lap. "I suppose I'd want something that's tender and precious…the guy wouldn't have to be really handsome, just someone I liked and would want to be with. He'd be kind and empathetic, and we'd spend a lot of time together and take it slowly…I _guess_," Sakura added, after realizing what she'd said.

Ino looked at her curiously. "When did your taste in guys change?" she asked. "You used to like Sasuke a whole lot, remember?"

Sakura looked at her friend sadly. "It was probably when I realized that I could never be the one for him," she said softly.

* * *

The air was cold, and Tenten shivered in her jacket, burying her nose deeper in her scarf. She looked up and, seeing a familiar face, immediately walked up to her younger friend.

"Hey Hinata, how did it go? Did you write it?"

"Oh, T-Tenten-san." Hinata jumped in surprise. She relaxed after a bit. "Um, I did. You were right—writing a letter is much better than actually saying it."

"Did it go well?" Tenten's eyes lit up in expectation. "Was he surprised?"

"Er, I didn't give it to him in person."

"You dropped it in his mailbox?" Tenten sighed. "Did he go see you afterwards?"

"Um…no."

"It was an anonymous letter, wasn't it?"

"Um…yes…"

"_Hinata!_" Tenten took the younger girl by the shoulders and shook her lightly. Tenten's green umbrella fell and settled against her shoulder. "You can't keep putting this off! You know that, right?"

"I know…"

Tenten let go and sighed again, picking up her umbrella again. "I don't see how you can keep up this unrequited love of yours. I mean, you have two perfectly nice guys on your team, right? They seem pretty protective of you." She started to walk again.

Hinata rushed to keep up with her. "I think that it's harder to fall in love with one of your teammates." She fiddled with her gloves. Her boots splashed through the muddy puddles that had formed.

"Why do you think that?" Tenten shook the rain droplets from her umbrella.

"Well, that's because…teammates have a connection that's _different_ from love…" Hinata blushed and looked to her feet.

"Like trust? Yeah, I know what you mean."

"How are you doing? With the person that…you l-like…" Hinata focused completely on her feet. "Is the question too…personal?"

"Not at all." Tenten patted her shoulder. "After all, you guys are so close. Anyway, I don't think it's ever going to get anywhere. We're just…too different."

"…I see."

The rest of the walk continued in silence.

* * *

"Gaara, tell me…if you were a woman, what type of man would you like?"

Gaara stared at his older sister. "Are you trying to imply something?"

Temari leaned on his desk, looking positively bored. "No. I'm just in need of female companionship. Kankurou isn't very cooperative."

"Go look somewhere else." Gaara returned to his paperwork.

"It's not like I'm home very often." Temari began to sulk. However, because Gaara seemed to still be present in the room, she continued to talk. "Anyway, I just realized that it's about time to get myself a man."

Gaara ignored her. He signed a piece of paper that looked thoroughly boring with very small print.

"Well, everyone else my age has already got a boyfriend or something. I think it would be a good experience." Temari nodded to herself. "So I was just wondering what kind of person I should fall for. I think he should definitely be cool…but I was thinking he should also be a little submissive, because I like being in charge."

Gaara signed a piece of paper with even smaller print.

"He should be mysterious…I also want him to be good-looking. He should also be taller than me…he should probably wear dark colors, but he's really cool and doesn't get dusty when he's in the desert. He should also be a really powerful ninja…but less powerful than me. And everyone would be really impressed with him. What do you think, Gaara?"

"Temari, be quiet or get out of my office."

END OF CHAPTER ONE


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Sorry for the late updates

**Author's Note**: Sorry for the late updates. I'll probably be slow when I'm updating this, since I have _so very little_ free time. It's mostly dialogue, and Shikamaru sighs a lot. Hope you enjoy it.

_**The Affairs of Naruto Uzumaki**_

_Chapter Two_

"Why did you come to talk to me, again? Besides talking about the love letter you got?"

"Shikamaru…this is very _important_. It's life-changing!" Naruto said excitedly, banging his fist on the table and nearly spilling his tea.

"For all you know, it was a prank. Or it was written by a seven year old girl whose nose still runs." Shikamaru (wisely) removed his tea cup from the table.

Naruto scoffed at this. "Shikamaru, I _am_ a great ninja. Obviously girls are going to fall for me! This one was just a little more courageous than the others and wrote me a letter! Anyway, Shikamaru, you know that noses don't run."

Shikamaru stared incredulously at the blond-haired ninja. "Honestly, Naruto…" He sighed and muttered to himself. "Besides, it was anonymous…"

"Oh, that's _right_!" Naruto cried in remembrance. "That's what I came here for! Since you're really smart and I don't know who the person who wrote this letter is, I figured you could help me." Naruto grinned sheepishly. "Er, you know, find out who the girl is."

Shikamaru stared at him. "…fine, just don't bother me again for the rest of the week. Let's see the letter."

Naruto handed it over obediently.

"…well, the ink and paper are both good quality," Shikamaru remarked.

"So it's a rich girl!"

"Not necessarily. When they're writing important letters, people would use expensive ink and paper. It's not that uncommon. The handwriting's also very well-shaped, but the girl would also take good care to write well."

"So it doesn't tell us anything," Naruto said sadly.

"Not really."

"…well, the handwriting's kind of flowery."

"…flowery?" Shikamaru set the letter down.

"Well, yeah. She used lots of loops and curves and stuff…" Naruto muttered.

"Right, Naruto. Let's just go with that." Shikamaru sighed again. "Well, if you want to know so badly, why don't you go around asking girls if they know who sent it? I mean, girls gossip all the time, _someone_ should know."

"That's true." Naruto nodded enthusiastically. "I guess I'll start with Sakura."

"Sakura?" Shikamaru stared at him. "But isn't she your teammate? It's pretty likely that she wrote it. She's very close to you."

"Yeah," Naruto admitted. "But she probably doesn't like me. I'd like her to, but it's unlikely. Besides, if Sakura ever liked someone, she would confess to them straight out, not write a letter."

"Huh." Shikamaru was surprised. When did Naruto change? He smiled to himself and stood up.

"We'll start with her, then."

* * *

"Naru_-tooo_…"

"Yeah, Sakura?"

"I'm busy." Sakura ripped her surgical mask off and gritted her teeth. "I'm _really_ busy right now, and you come up to me and expect me to have the time to deal with your freaking _love letter_?!"

"…so do you know who sent it?"

"No, I don't! Ask Ino, I have a patient to care for!" Sakura tied her mask back on and stomped away in a huff.

"Do you think she sent it?" Naruto asked, turning to Shikamaru. "I actually think she may have…you know, she was acting really defensive and angry…she might have been embarrassed…"

Shikamaru stopped him. "Let's go, Naruto."

* * *

"A love letter? That's _so_ old-fashioned."

"I'm not asking for your opinion, I am asking if you know who sent it," Naruto said, clearly annoyed.

"Well, no one I know would do something like that," Ino said, rearranging the flowers in a bouquet. "Go ask someone older. _Much _older."

"_Inooo_…" Naruto glared at her.

"Come on, Naruto." Shikamaru pulled at his friend's arm.

"_**IT IS NOT AN OLD LADY! THE PERSON WHO WROTE THIS IS CUTE AND HOT AND YOUNG—WHEN I FIND HER, INO, I'LL SHOW HER TO YOU AND YOU'LL SEE HOW MUCH HOTTER AND CUTER SHE IS THAN YOU! WAIT AND SEE, INO! WAIT AND SEE!**_"

Shikamaru sighed and looked up at the sky. He saw rabbit clouds.

* * *

"I can't believe it. We've been asking all the girls we've seen if they know who sent me this letter, and they all said no!" Naruto said, evidently disappointed. "I wonder if we should call it quits."

"Well, it is possible that this girl was too shy to tell her friends. She did write an anonymous letter instead of telling you directly," Shikamaru pointed out.

"Then what'll I do?" Naruo kicked an empty can, sending it rolling into the gutter. Several people looked at him disapprovingly.

"Naruto, you shouldn't litter! It corrupts your youthfulness!"

Naruto looked up at the familiar bowl-shaped head, attached to a body clothed in green spandex. "Lee."

Lee dropped the can into a nearby garbage. "How are you, Naruto? And Shikamaru!"

"I'm fine." Naruto sighed. "I'm sure that you're doing well."

"Of course!"

"Naruto," Shikamaru tapped the blond's shoulder. "Why don't you ask him? He has a female teammate, am I right?"

"Okay, okay." Naruto pulled the letter out. "Lee, do you know who sent this letter?"

"Hm? Is it a _youthful love letter_?" Lee took it.

"Well?" Naruto asked.

"Ah, well…I don't think Tenten wrote it, but I see Neji using this kind of paper very often."

"_N-NEJI?!_" Naruto asked incredulously.

"Lucky," Shikamaru said sarcastically.

"No, no! I wasn't implying that Neji wrote it, but someone in his household may have," Lee said, waving his hands frantically. "I mean…the Hyuuga house is very large," he added.

"Well, I guess we should go take a look," Naruto said, sulking. "But I'm not getting my hopes up." He shivered.

* * *

"Hinata, you don't use your weapons much, do you?"

"I don't," the kunoichi admitted, "My family's techniques don't involve the use of weapons, so…"

"You should still take good care of them. Weapons are reliable; you can still use them even if you're out of chakra." Tenten inspected the kunai with a practiced eye. "You need to clean and sharpen them. It might be a good idea to replace the grips, too. Make sure you practice with them regularly so you don't get rusty."

"Y-Yes." Hinata blushed. "I'm sorry."

Tenten smiled. "Ah, well…I know you've been trying to hone your own techniques, so I don't blame you. Why don't I help you with the cleaning and sharpening? It's faster with two."

"Thank you very much." Hinata stood up. "Um, I'll go borrow Neji's sharpening tools, then."

"Make sure you get your own sometimes. Those things wear out really quickly if you use someone else's," Tenten called after her.

"I will," Hinata replied. Looking up, she started, seeing Neji walking past her with an irritated look on his face.

"Is something wrong?" she asked curiously.

"Naruto. He's in the entrance, bothering people and asking me if I sent him a _love letter_. I'm going to kill him later."

"A—A _love letter_?!" Hinata cried. She hurried down the hallway. Neji stared blankly after her.

"_What_ happened?" Tenten asked, emerging from Hinata's room.

"Naruto's in the entrance asking people if they sent him a love letter," Neji replied, wondering why she was so curious.

"…ugh." Tenten ran down the hallway after her embarrassed friend.

* * *

"So, do you know anyone who may have written this letter?" Naruto waved the letter in girl's face.

"No, I don't. Now get off of me, you pedophile." Hanabi brushed the letter aside and continued walking.

"Maybe this isn't a good idea. Tsunade will probably be really angry with you if she finds out that you've been harassing the Hyuugas," Shikamaru said, looking at the various white-eyed clan members walking around.

"But this is the only way to find out who my admirer is! Anyway, they don't seem too angry."

"Three people have cursed you, one slapped you silly, and five more threatened to sue you if you didn't vacate the premises. You're lucky the last one only called you a pedophile."

"It's not that bad." Naruto pointed. "Hey, look! It's Hinata. Hinata!" Naruto waved.

Hinata ran up to them, looking as red as a beet. "N-Naruto-kun."

"Hey, Hinata. Do you know who wrote this letter?" Naruto held it up so she could see it better.

Hinata turned even redder and sweat ran down her temples. "T-That letter…"

"Do you know who sent it?" Naruto asked eagerly, looking at her with anticipation.

"_I don't know!_" Hinata said suddenly, throwing her hands in front of her face.

"Are you sure?"

"U-Um…I—I really don't know…" Hinata hid her face in her hands.

"Completely sure? I really want to know!"

"She said she doesn't know, so she doesn't know!"

Hinata looked up to see Tenten glaring at Naruto. "Honestly, Naruto, don't bother people! Hinata, I just remembered that I brought my own sharpener. It's probably a lot better than Neji's, anyway!" The weapons mistress seized the younger girl's hand. "See you later," Tenten said, giving Naruto a final, angry glance before pulling Hinata away.

"Did I mess up?" Naruto asked uncertainly. "Is Hinata angry with me?"

"Ah…" Shikamaru mumbled, understanding what had just occurred. "So that's how it was."

"Huh? Did you say something?"

"Nothing." Shikamaru stared at the sky, thinking of how oblivious Naruto was. This was surely going to be a troublesome situation. On the other hand, he saw chicken and cow clouds.

"Never mind, Naruto. Why don't we stop bothering people and go out for some ramen?"

END OF CHAPTER TWO


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